Why? A Poem on Moving On When the Past Won't Let You.

I sit here thinking about the good times. All the laughs we shared, all the fun we had. I don’t where it all went wrong but I guess it will just be a one sided muster that only you will have the answer to. The pieces of a puzzle that I can’t find. But maybe that’s a good thing, that way I can’t see the full picture. Maybe the truth isn’t some jewel in rusted treasure that I so desperately want to find, to cling to, maybe it’s the bane of my existence, the cause of my nightmares, my 13th reason if you will. But don’t think my curiosity won’t stay within. Don’t think the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. Until you voice your reasons never once will I have piece of mind. I will lay in bed, a dark ceiling starring back at me, words, ideas, theories, floating all around me, I count them instead of sheep. But you won’t haunt me. You won’t creep in the back of my mind like a stalker with its prey everyday. Every now and then you’ll come to mind, against my will I might add. I’ll see a picture on my phone, something I may have drawn, I’ll see an object and remember a token of friendship I gifted you, I’ll read the last (unanswered) text, and I’ll wonder what reason you had for backing away. I voice my “wish you wells” while my mind is picturing your downfall. Until I hear your reasons you will not be my friend, you will not be my enemy, you will be my biggest question. And that question will be as such: Why?